Our Lifeless Lives...

In lifeless lives as ours everything is a national issue, Aishwarya being fat is just one of them. Nowadays newspaper are full of stories that show how really lifeless we are. Locus of our identity and happiness mostly lies away from ourselves and ironically it lies in the misery. Of course not self misery but of others. We live in world where we enjoy pain and suffering of the others.

One can easily assume it makes us feel that we are not alone living this miserable life. We pay to see other suffering from same pain as we are. We thrive on the principle "I mustn't be the only one who shall suffer", and if could do it we try to  inflect pain on others. Little do we realize while search for pain we loose touch with beauty around us and even happiness around us. We loose touch with people around us. We sit and watch televisions sad operas for hours but when we have to talk we are barely able to come up with something to talk about.

Why are our lives so event-less, has world really changed that much that there is no adventure left, have you really done everything and now its time to do nothing, sit back and relax and continue living the life of machine. I know most of our lives go in order to support our family and being hand to mouth, but is there really nothing we could do to make it more interesting, Think of a time when you did something new something out of your comfort zone it was challenging and it was fun? How many times have you had that kind of fun? Are our lives really just meant to be this mechanical? Obvious answer will be no, we want more out of life than this misery and pain, more than just from office to house and house to office.

And if the answer is no, Can we really justify that answer? Why don't we seek something in our life to be passionate about than get jealous of people who does, Being sane is not that good if in the end it leaves you insane and with the face of person who never did any thing in life. Wrinkles on your face will mean just age not experiences, nor will we have tales to tell and memories to share, We will just tell our next generations about the tales of other bravery not ours. No wonder our next generations is mostly lost in the entertainment industry as we have nothing to offer to them, not even our time.

When we were kids our world was small we had more fun or our happiness wasn't much effected by others but just us. Why we killed that child, did he really made your life that hard that you must kill it and become more of a sheep? There was a story i read few years back "The Little Prince" it was a gift from someone really special. It made me realize how much i really left behind when i started walking towards adulthood, and most what i lost with that is the internal peace and happiness. Now I guess i will try to find the happiness back and see if i could still smile and be at peace.  

Turn Back Time

In abyss I find myself

Strayed far away in this deserted life

Wondering how far I came

Running away from those memories

Far away from those fears

When couldn't accept you as you

Couldn't accept myself

Now I wonder,

If I could turn back time

Turn back my life

Will I come to you?

Hold you close

Will I feel your heart again?

Or is it a memory I must live

As one to keep me going

And keep me alive in this lonely life

Little did I realize, those memories became my life

They bring that estranged smile

At most sorrow days of my life

Lost in inner world

Often befuddled by own desires

And then mind drifts away

To those memorable times

To that memorable world

Where we smiled

On every little part of life

As it was last day of life

Now with no one around

And you only close to my heart

For whom I still ponder

If I could turn back time,

Turn back my life

Will I come to you and hold you close to my heart.

Dil ke paas...

Khud ke paas toh bulata hai yeh dil,
Par meri manzil kuch door hai,
Khuda ne kaafir banaya tune bewafa,
Dard nahi mujhe ke manzil abhi door hai.

Akela chala besabar inn rahon pe,
Ke manzil abhi kuch door hai,
Kuch tanhayee hai kuch rusvaayi bhi,
par Akele he jaana hai,
ki manzil abhi kuch door hai.

translation :-
... calls me close to my love
but my destiny is still afar
god made me disbeliever, you made me betrayer
no i don the feel the pain
as my destiny is stiff afar

walking impatient on my path
as my destiny is still afar
there was loneliness, pain and sadness too
but i have to walk alone
as my destiny is still afar 

Reminds of you…

Those eyes remind me of you,
Every smile reminds me of you,
How will I ever love again?
When everything reminds me of you.

These memories reminds me of you,
This loneliness reminds me of you,
How can I meet someone else?
If this world reminds me of you.

Emptier life is, have lost my words,
Even the silence reminds me of you,
I can’t even weep now,
As tears reminds me of you.

Pathar Dil

Kuch muskurahat he chura li
Humein yaadon ne bhi bebbas kiya
Ki hum itne pathar dil na the
Ab toh mehsoos bhi nahi hota
Ki hum itne pathar dil na the

Mohabbat ke kuch shabd likhoon
Ki ab aaisi awaaz nahi aati
Teri bewafai ne mujhe loota
Ki hum itne pathar dil na the

Kahein kisse, kisse byaan kare
Dil ko dard jo simete hain
Koi saath nahi dil ke paas nahi
Ki hum itne pathar dil na the
Ab inteha hui tanhaayee ki
Ki hum itne pathar dil na the

Tu bataa tujhe gale lagaoon kaise
Teri bewafai ko bhulaon kaise
Ab toh zindgi ne bhi dhokha diya
Ki hum itne pathar dil na the…

Hopeless Love

Fell in love with the bird
One came to my door as it made me smile
Made some most precious memories
Then it went on for another swoop into the sky
As I stared in sky
With those wings as it kept flying
It was hard to stare away
It was harder to look
Yet I kept glaring through the windows
And wishing it might come back
Hoping that it doesn’t
To give me something to wish for
As, I kept on walking in the life
Fell in love with the bird
One came to my door and it made me smile.
As, I look back and realize
Wasn't ready for it's love couldn't bear its hate
Was just immature child
Broke it apart with a cold hearten strike
With no tears to cry
As kept moving forward in life
Little did realize void in my life
Now as feel nothing
With memories running dry
I fell in love with the bird
One came to my door and it made me smile.

I hate this India…

How much I hate India and how much I love Bharat? Often this pops up in my head and make me hate India little more every day. On every occasion it does I loose little bit of request to my country and loose the little bit of love to the same. And every time I read about the history of Bharat it makes me proud bit more and make me love it more. For many Bharat is the Hindi name of the India but not to me. The old stories of Bharat makes me proud every time, too many of great legends are associated with this name.
And Indian name is associated to poverty and suffering we face in this country and more of my so called national leaders who care little about people or this nation but more of how to fill ones pockets. Bharat on the other hand use to be golden sparrow, one of the richest nation on the earth had one of the best education system, sewage system, political system and most of all we were humans with high moral values there wasn’t much of religion but moral values kept our humanity alive. With Bharat name we survived for thousands of years. Bharat is a nation which is older than history itself.
As a person I realize it is not good to live in the past and Bharat was past of India and tell you the truth yeah it is pretty much true, If we look at it we are not even shadow of it. Once a great nation now has no name no history only suffering and bad name which is to tell the truth is well deserved. Our Leaders of great India had made sure all the efforts that were put to make this place great should go in vain so we have no future ahead of us all.
History to many is not important but it helps people realize who we really, when Nehru family wiped of the Bharat history plate to write the name India and start new they didn’t realize they wiped of everything that makes us what we really are and also identify us make us belong to one place. And no matter who ever we are we all need a place to belong. For that we hold every little place we can hold onto. And with name India no matter how much we try it doesn’t ring the bell it makes us feel our identity’s locus isn’t our nation but elsewhere given to us by some third nation.
It killed Bharat’s culture in order to adapt to that third nation’s one. Our culture was strong and it still holds us tight together. It’s capability to change with time was one that kept it alive for all these years. With this one wipe we have injected the very virus that will slowly kill us and end the great Civilization that our forefathers built.
Even with different religions we never had this much issues Hindus, Buddhist and Jainism survived together for thousands of years. If one say they are pretty much same of course these will have similarities if one lived with each other for thousands of years together we will have similarities. But in last 60 years. In this India this brotherhood died. Our politicians who now belong to their small states not to whole Bharat just prefer to take care of their places. Whenever we have new Railway ministers come into power their duty is to make better connectivity to their state not whole India as they never really belong to India and Bharat is no more. It’s pretty obvious they don’t have the duty to serve the whole nation since now they only belong to their state.
We have often blamed English for our state little do we realize it was us who split ourselves made ourselves vulnerable to petty kings who once was so afraid to attack Bharat now ruled the country. And even when we were finally able to unite we were so diversified from unity and together ness we no longer stood with each other as one. We were small groups like bunch of tribes of fighting each other’s for food or power. And this brought to the very place we are right now.
If I could travel back in time one of the things I will make sure to name our Nation Bharat. We probably started with a lot more debt than we were suppose too but could still have survived this and still could have came up with much better result that we have and look at our home as our nation not just my village my city or my state.
Yeah when I look around now I hate my India but I love every bit of its past I love my Bharat.