I hate this India…

How much I hate India and how much I love Bharat? Often this pops up in my head and make me hate India little more every day. On every occasion it does I loose little bit of request to my country and loose the little bit of love to the same. And every time I read about the history of Bharat it makes me proud bit more and make me love it more. For many Bharat is the Hindi name of the India but not to me. The old stories of Bharat makes me proud every time, too many of great legends are associated with this name.
And Indian name is associated to poverty and suffering we face in this country and more of my so called national leaders who care little about people or this nation but more of how to fill ones pockets. Bharat on the other hand use to be golden sparrow, one of the richest nation on the earth had one of the best education system, sewage system, political system and most of all we were humans with high moral values there wasn’t much of religion but moral values kept our humanity alive. With Bharat name we survived for thousands of years. Bharat is a nation which is older than history itself.
As a person I realize it is not good to live in the past and Bharat was past of India and tell you the truth yeah it is pretty much true, If we look at it we are not even shadow of it. Once a great nation now has no name no history only suffering and bad name which is to tell the truth is well deserved. Our Leaders of great India had made sure all the efforts that were put to make this place great should go in vain so we have no future ahead of us all.
History to many is not important but it helps people realize who we really, when Nehru family wiped of the Bharat history plate to write the name India and start new they didn’t realize they wiped of everything that makes us what we really are and also identify us make us belong to one place. And no matter who ever we are we all need a place to belong. For that we hold every little place we can hold onto. And with name India no matter how much we try it doesn’t ring the bell it makes us feel our identity’s locus isn’t our nation but elsewhere given to us by some third nation.
It killed Bharat’s culture in order to adapt to that third nation’s one. Our culture was strong and it still holds us tight together. It’s capability to change with time was one that kept it alive for all these years. With this one wipe we have injected the very virus that will slowly kill us and end the great Civilization that our forefathers built.
Even with different religions we never had this much issues Hindus, Buddhist and Jainism survived together for thousands of years. If one say they are pretty much same of course these will have similarities if one lived with each other for thousands of years together we will have similarities. But in last 60 years. In this India this brotherhood died. Our politicians who now belong to their small states not to whole Bharat just prefer to take care of their places. Whenever we have new Railway ministers come into power their duty is to make better connectivity to their state not whole India as they never really belong to India and Bharat is no more. It’s pretty obvious they don’t have the duty to serve the whole nation since now they only belong to their state.
We have often blamed English for our state little do we realize it was us who split ourselves made ourselves vulnerable to petty kings who once was so afraid to attack Bharat now ruled the country. And even when we were finally able to unite we were so diversified from unity and together ness we no longer stood with each other as one. We were small groups like bunch of tribes of fighting each other’s for food or power. And this brought to the very place we are right now.
If I could travel back in time one of the things I will make sure to name our Nation Bharat. We probably started with a lot more debt than we were suppose too but could still have survived this and still could have came up with much better result that we have and look at our home as our nation not just my village my city or my state.
Yeah when I look around now I hate my India but I love every bit of its past I love my Bharat.

lost and smiled

As I learned the way to love u and I lost you
Memories were deep so were the wounds
Ache was endless so was the loneliness
Yet held u dear closed in my heart
Within every thought you were there
Nor was there any tear nor I could care
In life darkness and abyss were only there
Yet cherished everything that was there
Was it part of life or just a fair
These were the moments I could never share
Deep in my heart as I left them
Hidden from prying eyes as I kept them
Was too scared what they might reveal
Make the wounds that never heal
Lived along the pain to die alone
Wasn’t end of love nor was the end of lies
Kept telling myself for one pride
Of untold love as I died
Let’s wipe the tears remove the sadness trace
Now let’s smile and put a brave face
There is a lot to live for not just you.
And I lost everything as I lost you.

Vivek Sheel

still...

I lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still,
Often I stop, look back and miss you still,
Time heals the wounds, even hide the marks.
As drifted towards new life and remember you still.
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

Empty are my words empty as my heart.
Promises made are empty still.
Paramour’s I have, heart is lonely still
Long forgotten of yours are precious memories still
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

It was dusk without you, life is darker still.
Heart was of glass but it was heart still.
Selfish As broke it apart but it hurts still.
For the fears often broke up, rapine me still.
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

Love is blind, desire to see you is last still
Have everything, only love I cherish still.
Time is reason and memories are happiness still.
To love you to love all life is wish still.
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

Vivek Sheel