Friday, May 27, 2011

The Very fear I live in.

We shouldn’t be scared “Scared of anything”. No I am not supporting fear here or to be afraid “even being chicken” but just the fear itself. Fear is the very component we are made off. Every one of us suffered from some sort of fear even the Harry Potter who suffered from fear of fear itself.
But is fear really that bad for us. In experience it has always been helpful in keeping us sane and making better choices been kind of guide for us the very same way God has been. Fear has a very strong control on our minds and actions but not that good on thoughts but these thoughts help us in instill the very fear in us. Randomness and our imagination are often the reason we fear something.
But these imaginations also help us to find all the possible open paths. Also prepare us for all the possible endings. On a personal experience fear has been the reason for me being crazy yet sane. If you have no fear you will not realize when you lose your control but if we are bit afraid we go to our very end and try to see if we are still safe. This very fear helps us find our limitations and the threshold to a level we can push ourselves too.
People who drive fast and those who are maniac this is the line that we can draw to judge if we is maniac or he just drives fast. As those who drives fast are also bit afraid of it that fear keeps them safe and in control as they know if they push too far they might lose control. And those who completely let go of all the fears turn into maniac and more often than not have bitter endings.
Yeah too much of these limitations aren’t healthy in any prospect. As if the belt is too tight one can’t even breathe. Fear defines the limitations for one if you make the place to small there is no place to move there is no place left too imagine as we can only imagine as much as we have space for imagination. If our fears build too many walls then you can’t imagine all.
As old people say too much of everything is bad. So fear is not different if you are too afraid you fail to move forward and if you are not afraid you won’t be able to reach where you wanted to begin with.

Monday, May 23, 2011

5% more...

5% more is all I ask, what would have happened if I had 5% more? How much life would have changed, how different of person I would have been now? Would I have been in the same state as I am now? So many questions pop up in mind. And a fear too what if still nothing would changed than I guess I would have believed in fate or more probably asked for 5% more.
That 5% more may have helped me reached my goals and dreams and yeah, it would have helped me figure out my dreams and my goals. Probably even controls these random thoughts I end up writing too often nowadays. With my current capabilities I just live my life as it comes often struggling with every part of it. And Struggle to make it better or something that makes me think it might feel better.
But no matter how much of I struggle I still can’t draw a picture of my future or my life not of future not even of present. Not very sure how many of us can draw the picture what our life should be like. Yeah I know I always wanted to live where it snows and have a house at beach but can I picture myself living there No, I can’t even imagine me being happy there just because I once wanted to live like that. And I am sure not planning for that future. I hope if I have 5% more I would have been able to figure out.
Also hope with that 5% more I fill the voids of life and even made me a probably a better person, I always been bit of rebel and narrow minded, selfish, often less caring as others always want me to be. The idea of living for others doesn’t really find its house in my head home. I hope I would become more considerate about others or may be not frankly I don’t think I would be able to care even after that. But I do hope I understand people bit more.
Even after saying so much I still can’t stop imagining how much I would have changed with that 5% more. Would I have gotten my degree without arrears, would I have been better student? My IQ was it not enough for this worlds smooth ride. Or I was never really able to associate with everything around me. May be with that 5% people I would have able to associate bit more.
My craving for 5% more is same as my craving for time machine. If I could just get that I would have fixed so many things, may have saved my failed love, and may have saved myself from failing again and again in same subject and may have made my life bit more perfect. I can add so many may’s to this list of how much of it might have changed.
It certainly shows my desire it to change even my lethargic nature. Also a false hope I might have fixed my all flaws if I have 5% more but If I have no flaw than I wouldn’t be human this 5% keeps me human keep me what I am also is the reason I have this desire to have 5% more.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

few words...

hai ye chand ki laali humein yeh ehsaas dilati hai
humein abhi bhi unki yaad aati hai
jinki baatein humein har pal hasaati thi,,
naa jaane unhee ki yaad ab itna kyoon rulati hai...

hai yeh chand ki laali humein ehsaas dilati hai..
yeh duniya bhi ab humein tanhayee mehsoos karati hai
pa kar bhi jo kho diya tujhko
ab to mohbaat bhi bhi humein raas na aati hai

often this redness of this moon makes me feel
i still miss u at times
who made me smile with her every word
why now her memory makes me cry

often this redness of this moon makes me feel
this world now makes me feel alone
even after finding you, i lost you
now even love doesn't suit me

work in progress...

Monday, May 16, 2011

What I would be if…

What I would be if I am not what I am today?
This question can makes many of us wonder what their alter life would have been like, What would they have become if they didn’t choose to be what they are now, and for some of us it was never an option and to tell you truth I don’t what else I would have been, I always took the path that came in front of me. It was never a choice it was always a straight road this life And I never made any decisions. At least not how I want my life to be like. I am not even sure what I am right now and where this path is heading to.
Figuring out life wasn’t my strongest point, was never really able to plan life. Wasn’t able to plan anything till now not days, desires or dreams. So life wasn’t even point of my concern. Sure I use to dream what I wanted my life to be like. In the end it was just imagination my lack of actions or lack of passion even my lethargic nature was responsible for it.
But it was never like we never wanted to be anything else sure we did from Harry Potter to William Gates even Leonardo da Vinci, but often we wanted to become someone because of what we are now. Hobbies and passion developed around me because of what I am right now. They all happened and brought me to this place in life where I am now. And it helped me shape my life even my dreams and desires.
Where I am right now is also another question that haunts me. The question of Who am I? What is my identity? Am I just what my visiting card say or am I something more or different than that. Is it my qualification that completes the definition of my identity? As I stated earlier I didn’t reach here by my own choice I just took the path what was in front of me. And kept walking sometimes looked at other paths that were going parallel to mine and wondered what If I picked that path. Irrespective of fact how but What If I did? My being here has more to do with the path laid in front of me. And to some extent what was expected from me.
Expectation from us to define our destiny at the very least the paths we take. We all have someone who expects us to do something. I should plan my life as they expect me to be. Even if I am not some public figure who live life as they are expected to but I am suppose to please everyone around me. This is my moral responsibilities to fulfill the dreams of my parents. As they suffered through their lives so I can live my life happily. I can live my life filled with my own desires. What it really means? My life was never really mine. It was never free it was just a mirage a lie when you are told you can do whatever you want. The truth is you can do whatever you want as long as it meets with our dreams. This is done to make us believe we are free. Parents want to live their life through you now as they never lived their own because earlier they live for their parents and then for kids and the vicious circle goes on. And we to please others by choice or not we do want to be look up to and follow the same path.
Ironically I am the one who is saying with the matter of fact I was kid from everyone least expected anything. But did I become what I wanted to be. I guess I did irrespective of the fact I still have no clue what I am. I often look at other field and hope they were mine but maybe it is just like grass looks greener on other side. So my desperate attempts to do something I want is nothing but my own way of getting out of my own monotony.

Friday, May 6, 2011

autoProfiler

It's often embarrassing when phone rings at its loudest volume in office hours even more embarrassing when it rings during a meeting. A solution just to avoid that.

Concept:

To develop an application for mobiles that will change the profile on mobile automatically depending on the time this will help you to control mobile volume settings depending upon the time and your location.

Future:

This app will the synchronized with you outlook or lotus calendar thus changing the volumes of ring or any other activity based on setting, Since all corporate likes to setup meeting in their calendar which help their time managements but this will also help you to manage mobile ringer so if you are on official meeting your mobiles doesn’t start singing at its loudest volume.
This can further be synchronized with GPS that will help your machine to identify your location and set the ring volume. In case of market if the volume of Mobile is lower it often tough to hear important calls and often we end up missing them. To avoid such condition as most of high tech mobiles come with GPS or Google Maps we can use them to locate person position and use it to identify the environment and set the volume of mobile.

Implementation:

Current implementation of this application is very easy It will be simply able to change profile or volume setting based on calendar or it can even ask user to set is his specified working hours. These working hours will be used for setting up phone settings. Provide the option such as selecting the ringtone or all other notification methods.

Environment:

Based on the simplicity of this application, this application can be developed for All OS based mobile systems. Including IOS, Android, Symbian, RIM, Windows.

Marketing Strategy:

Quite Simple strategy can be used to promote such application such including it in the various app stores provided by all the respective application.

Target Customer:

Targeted customer mostly includes Corporate, Business Professional everyone who uses needs calendar or requires time management. But afterwards will target common man when GPS facility in enabled.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Religion I never had...

What is dharma? Was dharma really meant as same as religion? I am not sure, I always felt dharma was more of my moral responsibilities, it had more to do with my conscience than of what religion I belonged, If this is true than what is my religion I understand my way of living is of Hinduism but where is my religion, It’s easy to say now I never really had one, I never really belonged to one, Quite a relief for me. There is no actual word for religion in Hindi, we are misusing the word dharma and spoiling even corrupting it’s meaning for our own selfish gains. Religion came in to existence to link people to connect them together.
Religion = Link in between Region
This religion was created in order to bring people together make them believe in similar believes but nothing remains same it was suppose to be nothing stands firm in the test of time, Although I am not sure that was total ideology when they actually created religion, May be from the beginning it was meant to control people and their actions so Not so long after its creation it was used as power, power like no other, power that helps to control, even start wars, We all know religion has always played pivotal role in wars, In every war there were people of some religion who suffered the wrath of others, No religion was totally incorruptible, Since with so many followers the desire to control them was so inviting, Even after so many years it is one of the most formidable enemy. And the rate people trying to spread it for power, all the conversion’s taking place, if they really care for other person why they are ask them to follow that specific religion to get help. Why they are not helped just like that. Now I am not pin pointing any one here but to say I will help you only if you follow my religion otherwise you can die the dog death I don’t care, where is the humanity in that?
But asking for humanity here is too much to ask, humanity doesn't yield to power at least not as soon as religion does, so it's much easier to use religion as force, dharma on the other hand is quite unyielding to follow if you are looking for power, Probably because there is no politics in dharma, it’s everyone’s moral responsibility. And people who do not follow their responsibilities they never really had any dharma. But they can have their religions but not dharma, Religions is their link with each other & yeah religion was always very different from dharma. Now we all who doesn't have religions but only ideologies than what are we fighting for, Why we fight when someone say I belong to some other religion? Now we don’t have to get jealous from people with religions. Being just jealous cannot be the reason we start fighting or even kill thousands of people for it. That doesn't really feel right. But our leaders have convinced us, we have a religion and we should fight for it. Who choose them as leaders when they don’t even know actual meaning of dharma? But here they are guiding us. Leading us to live a bitter life and we look up to them somehow I found that to be too trivial.
I know I am not alone who believe this. Many people are looking for change many now don't bother about religion but more we try to move away from it more the powers of these leaders grow stronger. I am quite confused on how but on the name of change and people leaving their culture behind these leaders are becoming more of a religious demons. Least they realized the fact change is law of nature we have survived for 34000 years because we changed when the change was required. Change was our strength which they are fighting so vigorously against.
Let this change come let’s move to future we are changing to people we want to be, you have no rights to ask us to follow what your principles are I will do what I believe is morally right I will lead my own life in the path I feel right. I will have my dharma uptight but don’t drag me to pit holes of religion. I never had one I never will.

Monday, May 2, 2011

My Religion my War

Why it matters what happen to people in other country, The govt. of those countries is doing stuff what people want, What they see is right for that nation, They are not your brothers they have no relation towards you, They are people themselves, I know this might sound very harsh to many people if you want to help them just because they are of your religion I certainly can’t find humanity in that, being human is different than you are suppose to stand against violence on all the people, but No that you won’t do, you don’t want to care about kid dying in Africa because of no water but all you want to know is what religion he is from, isn’t that bit hog wash your pathetic excuse of justifying for what you are asking is right.
US is just one of those who make money from those whose house catches fire, and they also make sure people house keep on catching fires, Sadly every Govt. of major nations is same and even more sadly mine is actually puppet of them who believes in same theories,
and they already sold India for some huge amount of money, But is it just govt. fault, No we are all the same, same pathetic excuse for life, “disgusting one” who fight for religion more seriously than food, who are either so self involved or trying to connect people where we have no real connection just because some asshole told you he belongs to your religion, and Funny thing is people are becoming dumber with time,
I was recently talking to someone and I asked
Me: Do you really believed in god, God they asked you to believe in your religion.
Friend: yes, I do.
Me: I asked her why? have you felt its presence?
Friend: no
Me: then why?
Friend: Because I was told so, I was asked to believe so I started believing.
I was shook by her answer, is that the reason why we all believe god, Well it’s easier to say no here isn’t it, Then I will ask again give me why you actually believe in god, I believe in god myself but I have my own reasons and they are certainly not as shallow as the one I just mentioned. But am I so different from rest I did experiment,
When we were young we are trained to believe everything our parents tell us, or our society tell us, so we start believing god, and as much importance our society gives to religion leaving few exception most of them start falling for the same crap. We are no different from sheep’s We follow what they asked us to follow, Do you think if we leave 2 kid’s in jungle to get old, one guy and gal, and meet them after hundreds of years they will also believe in god like we do?
I hardly doubt that! at the very least they wouldn’t believe in any religion crap. They probably be just actual suppose to be not effected by any religion or thought, if they have humanity in them it won’t be limited to stupid thought hey there is a guy who has no religion I am worried about him, To them we all be equal, not split by some stupid colors or religions
We pathetic excuse for human are the worst examples of smart animals as I might add, Recent I did experiment on myself I was reading an article I actually hate Indian Central Govt. so this article was discussing how Indian PM and others are just agents of America in India, this article affected my thought process to such a deep level that now I see every action of Indian Govt. as act of agent and I see how it really benefits America I can’t control myself and this is the goggles that are present in front of my eyes & it will make me look at world only in that color. And Govt. of India is really not helping me to get rid of these goggles. The reason it affected me so much is as I was willing to believe in anything that is against this govt. and this one just fit my needs so is the concept of god and even pathetic religion they religion god came into existence based on their regions and so as their acts and powers. So when one of faced a issue and we were told this might be reason it happened it all fits in our head and we actually start believing the crap someone just told. And as it spreads it became a society and that just forces the numb nuts like us to believe the gods. And fight for our religion. My religion gave me this crap gave that crap, he is my brother because he is from my religion that guy should die as I don’t know his religion and I don’t care after that.
Frankly I don’t care about religion I do things which make me feel good and I hope everyone is should be happy I rather support someone who is hungry than fight for a asshole who is suffering because he was fighting for religion yes I am that cruel hate me for it but I don’t give rats ass about religion or people dying because of it I worry about them as they are human and hope we all move above this religion crap and try to be together but I am not that stupid I know it’s not going to happen.