I hate this India…

How much I hate India and how much I love Bharat? Often this pops up in my head and make me hate India little more every day. On every occasion it does I loose little bit of request to my country and loose the little bit of love to the same. And every time I read about the history of Bharat it makes me proud bit more and make me love it more. For many Bharat is the Hindi name of the India but not to me. The old stories of Bharat makes me proud every time, too many of great legends are associated with this name.
And Indian name is associated to poverty and suffering we face in this country and more of my so called national leaders who care little about people or this nation but more of how to fill ones pockets. Bharat on the other hand use to be golden sparrow, one of the richest nation on the earth had one of the best education system, sewage system, political system and most of all we were humans with high moral values there wasn’t much of religion but moral values kept our humanity alive. With Bharat name we survived for thousands of years. Bharat is a nation which is older than history itself.
As a person I realize it is not good to live in the past and Bharat was past of India and tell you the truth yeah it is pretty much true, If we look at it we are not even shadow of it. Once a great nation now has no name no history only suffering and bad name which is to tell the truth is well deserved. Our Leaders of great India had made sure all the efforts that were put to make this place great should go in vain so we have no future ahead of us all.
History to many is not important but it helps people realize who we really, when Nehru family wiped of the Bharat history plate to write the name India and start new they didn’t realize they wiped of everything that makes us what we really are and also identify us make us belong to one place. And no matter who ever we are we all need a place to belong. For that we hold every little place we can hold onto. And with name India no matter how much we try it doesn’t ring the bell it makes us feel our identity’s locus isn’t our nation but elsewhere given to us by some third nation.
It killed Bharat’s culture in order to adapt to that third nation’s one. Our culture was strong and it still holds us tight together. It’s capability to change with time was one that kept it alive for all these years. With this one wipe we have injected the very virus that will slowly kill us and end the great Civilization that our forefathers built.
Even with different religions we never had this much issues Hindus, Buddhist and Jainism survived together for thousands of years. If one say they are pretty much same of course these will have similarities if one lived with each other for thousands of years together we will have similarities. But in last 60 years. In this India this brotherhood died. Our politicians who now belong to their small states not to whole Bharat just prefer to take care of their places. Whenever we have new Railway ministers come into power their duty is to make better connectivity to their state not whole India as they never really belong to India and Bharat is no more. It’s pretty obvious they don’t have the duty to serve the whole nation since now they only belong to their state.
We have often blamed English for our state little do we realize it was us who split ourselves made ourselves vulnerable to petty kings who once was so afraid to attack Bharat now ruled the country. And even when we were finally able to unite we were so diversified from unity and together ness we no longer stood with each other as one. We were small groups like bunch of tribes of fighting each other’s for food or power. And this brought to the very place we are right now.
If I could travel back in time one of the things I will make sure to name our Nation Bharat. We probably started with a lot more debt than we were suppose too but could still have survived this and still could have came up with much better result that we have and look at our home as our nation not just my village my city or my state.
Yeah when I look around now I hate my India but I love every bit of its past I love my Bharat.

lost and smiled

As I learned the way to love u and I lost you
Memories were deep so were the wounds
Ache was endless so was the loneliness
Yet held u dear closed in my heart
Within every thought you were there
Nor was there any tear nor I could care
In life darkness and abyss were only there
Yet cherished everything that was there
Was it part of life or just a fair
These were the moments I could never share
Deep in my heart as I left them
Hidden from prying eyes as I kept them
Was too scared what they might reveal
Make the wounds that never heal
Lived along the pain to die alone
Wasn’t end of love nor was the end of lies
Kept telling myself for one pride
Of untold love as I died
Let’s wipe the tears remove the sadness trace
Now let’s smile and put a brave face
There is a lot to live for not just you.
And I lost everything as I lost you.

Vivek Sheel

still...

I lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still,
Often I stop, look back and miss you still,
Time heals the wounds, even hide the marks.
As drifted towards new life and remember you still.
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

Empty are my words empty as my heart.
Promises made are empty still.
Paramour’s I have, heart is lonely still
Long forgotten of yours are precious memories still
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

It was dusk without you, life is darker still.
Heart was of glass but it was heart still.
Selfish As broke it apart but it hurts still.
For the fears often broke up, rapine me still.
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

Love is blind, desire to see you is last still
Have everything, only love I cherish still.
Time is reason and memories are happiness still.
To love you to love all life is wish still.
Lost the feeling of love as I lost you and I love you still.

Vivek Sheel

Being Nomad

What it means to lead a life with no goals? To where am I going to when I have no destination? And more often than not I asked myself where I am from, where is my Home? Destiny is something most of us are running behind and fewer of us are looking for our home, a place to belong.
Nomads have no home, they live their life as it passes and their destiny are the places where they reached. Fewer of them are pretty contended by the thought of living this life. Most of them just want to belong to someone somewhere not necessarily a parents, lovers, wives, husbands even kids, as these are the very chains that made them a nomad at first place.
An idea of belonging to someone often comes with a heavy price. A price is too heavy for many of these to pay they mostly end up either shunning them off from people or completely deserting the very ones they were so hardly trying to belong. Even in the cases where they are already living with someone they reach the point of indifference but mostly others fails to recognize and realize the end of this relationship as nomads are mostly too humane to make these people suffer.
Living in the misery of their own reality mostly trying to understand the instability of their own mind and heart which is barely open to anyone always end up living in their own castle of solitude. Blaming oneself and trying to relate more to the world around them only pushes them more towards this loneliness.
These people are not the souls who can’t be saved or can’t be loved even the soul’s who can’t belong. They are the very nectar of love and this life which travels and lives in every corner of this earth. These souls can love, they will love even will belong to the one as long as one don’t take away the very thing that defines them.

Don’t take away freedom, lets share it.

End of a black hole.

How does the black hole ends? How does anything with so much power dies what happens to it after its end and what happens to everything it so absorbed? As per most of speculation or theories in the end black holes just evaporates and there is nothing left after it. As a person from real world its bit hard to digest as in my life I have never seen or imagined anything completely evaporates without a trace left.
Yeah I am no physicist. But that doesn’t stop me from questioning what science journals ask me to believe. Complete evaporation of black holes at its death is also one question I have in my mind and I certainly believe it is nearly impossible to evaporate anything without an even single trace. So when it does end what happen to all the matter it did absorb during its life time?
As we know there is less space required in case elements are smaller as more well packed and free space requirement is less.

If elements the smaller they will be much more well packed thus gap in between will be less. So when one star does end up with fuel due to all the high energy present in the core of star it keep becoming smaller elements thus able to get much more well packed and occupy less space. Thus when star dies and runs out of fuel the inner elements the elements which are already divided will start reducing the size of the star to real small object. Which have the same mass of the star but very well packed thus extremely small in size. Leading to formation of black hole. If the size of star isnt big enough it will need be able to become black hole but just pulsur as the elements will not be crushed to such a small level that they can become black hole.
We all know black holes gravitational pull is more the speed of light thus making impossible for light to escape from it making them really hard to detect. And if any object that comes near black hole and become subject of its gravitational pull. At certain point it will reach the speed of light and even surpass it as it is getting absorbed by the black hole. With so much gravitational pull the every object that comes near black hole starts getting stretched and at certain point the with the amount of energy it is getting pulled it will reach ionization energy thus electron will break free from the surface ans when it does it it will release some amount of energy. As the elements still is trying to get closer it will keep further getting divided into smaller elements from atom to further smaller quantam elements. Such as hig boson or even further smaller elements depends completely on size of Black hole and its gravitational pull. Which helps any star or object to merge into black hole without effecting its size to a large scale. Also when the elements are getting pulled every time an element is divided into smaller element it releases the huge amount of energy. Resulting into radiation burst from the black holes. But that only happens when black hole itself has absorbed too much of energy in itself and with this gravitational pull even energy gets pulled towards the surface.
Now with this established the black hole does contain insane amount of energy in it. Object of gravational pull disintegrate itself into smaller elements much smaller than just Hydrogen even small the elements which we have not yet discovered as the amount of energy in the black hole is insanely high which keep on disintegrating the molecule into smaller and smaller thus converting the star into pure black hole surface very well packed. And as does the black hole has absorbed enough number of stars and has reached its limit it cannot further hold all & due to its own gravitation pull it keeps crumbiling to smaller size over time due to pull of its own as well as the energy which has been trapped due to its gravitational pull surronds it putting equal pressure on the black hole surface to crumble more into itself it evaporates and as it evaporates all the enrgy which was trapped due to high gravational pull becomes free and explodes.
Releasing all the energy it once absorbed which spread across the region with more than speed of light and then it start losing the energy the energy further start transforming itself back into mass or matter. Leading it into formation of new objects which may be stars planets, asteroids may be even life.
If our universe has black hole in the centre as my previous article this may be very process explaining the expanding and contracting universe further leading to formation of whole new Universe.

Mangtein hain muqadar zindgi ka
Tu ek baar mujhe raah dikhata ja
Chahe tu chod dena mujhe bewafa hoke
Par ek baar toh aas dilate ja

Mangtein hain muqadar zindgi ka
Tu ek baar mujhe raah dikhata ja
Mana ki main tere khuda ka nahi
Par tu is kafir ko mohabaat toh sikhata ja
Kuch he paal ki baaki yeh zindgi meri
marne se pehle jeena toh sikhta ja

Mangtein hain muqadar zindgi ka
Tu ek baar mujhe raah dikhata ja

Fate of life is what i ask for
kindly show me the path for my destiny
you can than betray me and leave me
but at least give me hope

Fate of life is what i ask for
kindly show me the path for my destiny
i know i do not belong to your god
but teach this infidel to love
i don not have much time left in life
at least teach me how to live before death

Yeh gila hum jis khuda se karte hain
woh khuda bhi kisi shayer ne banaeya hoga
intezaar mein tere jo hum itna jalte hain
us shayaer ko bhi kisi ki mohabbat na jaleya hoga.

the god to whom i cry to for my suffering
must have been made by some poet
in wait of my love as i burn
must have felt the agony