5% more is all I ask, what would have happened if I had 5% more? How much life would have changed, how different of person I would have been now? Would I have been in the same state as I am now? So many questions pop up in mind. And a fear too what if still nothing would changed than I guess I would have believed in fate or more probably asked for 5% more.
That 5% more may have helped me reached my goals and dreams and yeah, it would have helped me figure out my dreams and my goals. Probably even controls these random thoughts I end up writing too often nowadays. With my current capabilities I just live my life as it comes often struggling with every part of it. And Struggle to make it better or something that makes me think it might feel better.
But no matter how much of I struggle I still can’t draw a picture of my future or my life not of future not even of present. Not very sure how many of us can draw the picture what our life should be like. Yeah I know I always wanted to live where it snows and have a house at beach but can I picture myself living there No, I can’t even imagine me being happy there just because I once wanted to live like that. And I am sure not planning for that future. I hope if I have 5% more I would have been able to figure out.
Also hope with that 5% more I fill the voids of life and even made me a probably a better person, I always been bit of rebel and narrow minded, selfish, often less caring as others always want me to be. The idea of living for others doesn’t really find its house in my head home. I hope I would become more considerate about others or may be not frankly I don’t think I would be able to care even after that. But I do hope I understand people bit more.
Even after saying so much I still can’t stop imagining how much I would have changed with that 5% more. Would I have gotten my degree without arrears, would I have been better student? My IQ was it not enough for this worlds smooth ride. Or I was never really able to associate with everything around me. May be with that 5% people I would have able to associate bit more.
My craving for 5% more is same as my craving for time machine. If I could just get that I would have fixed so many things, may have saved my failed love, and may have saved myself from failing again and again in same subject and may have made my life bit more perfect. I can add so many may’s to this list of how much of it might have changed.
It certainly shows my desire it to change even my lethargic nature. Also a false hope I might have fixed my all flaws if I have 5% more but If I have no flaw than I wouldn’t be human this 5% keeps me human keep me what I am also is the reason I have this desire to have 5% more.
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