What I would be if…

What I would be if I am not what I am today?
This question can makes many of us wonder what their alter life would have been like, What would they have become if they didn’t choose to be what they are now, and for some of us it was never an option and to tell you truth I don’t what else I would have been, I always took the path that came in front of me. It was never a choice it was always a straight road this life And I never made any decisions. At least not how I want my life to be like. I am not even sure what I am right now and where this path is heading to.
Figuring out life wasn’t my strongest point, was never really able to plan life. Wasn’t able to plan anything till now not days, desires or dreams. So life wasn’t even point of my concern. Sure I use to dream what I wanted my life to be like. In the end it was just imagination my lack of actions or lack of passion even my lethargic nature was responsible for it.
But it was never like we never wanted to be anything else sure we did from Harry Potter to William Gates even Leonardo da Vinci, but often we wanted to become someone because of what we are now. Hobbies and passion developed around me because of what I am right now. They all happened and brought me to this place in life where I am now. And it helped me shape my life even my dreams and desires.
Where I am right now is also another question that haunts me. The question of Who am I? What is my identity? Am I just what my visiting card say or am I something more or different than that. Is it my qualification that completes the definition of my identity? As I stated earlier I didn’t reach here by my own choice I just took the path what was in front of me. And kept walking sometimes looked at other paths that were going parallel to mine and wondered what If I picked that path. Irrespective of fact how but What If I did? My being here has more to do with the path laid in front of me. And to some extent what was expected from me.
Expectation from us to define our destiny at the very least the paths we take. We all have someone who expects us to do something. I should plan my life as they expect me to be. Even if I am not some public figure who live life as they are expected to but I am suppose to please everyone around me. This is my moral responsibilities to fulfill the dreams of my parents. As they suffered through their lives so I can live my life happily. I can live my life filled with my own desires. What it really means? My life was never really mine. It was never free it was just a mirage a lie when you are told you can do whatever you want. The truth is you can do whatever you want as long as it meets with our dreams. This is done to make us believe we are free. Parents want to live their life through you now as they never lived their own because earlier they live for their parents and then for kids and the vicious circle goes on. And we to please others by choice or not we do want to be look up to and follow the same path.
Ironically I am the one who is saying with the matter of fact I was kid from everyone least expected anything. But did I become what I wanted to be. I guess I did irrespective of the fact I still have no clue what I am. I often look at other field and hope they were mine but maybe it is just like grass looks greener on other side. So my desperate attempts to do something I want is nothing but my own way of getting out of my own monotony.